USA, 95 min
official rating: meh.
while i can certainly appreciate the cold cynicism that permeates a flick like this, i found it a disappointing groan-fest. (one which seemed to take itself awfully seriously, in spite of all the laughs it begged for. i spent the first third of the thing saying “…what? for real?” to myself. maybe my expectations were misguided… well, they obviously were; enough so to make me sit around fucking talking to myself.) in attempting to parody the star power of commercial/pop horror authors like stephen king, it instead simply comes off as a kind of dumbed-down king-esque treatment itself, one which is trying desperately to be self-aware. in the end, both the scares and the lampoonery seemed pretty shallow to me; it just didn’t have enough fun nor worthwhile horrors to hold my patience… dang. satirefail!
and, while i’m sure many appreciate the little love-letter hp lovecraft references throughout, this movie just doesn’t do any justice to lovecraft’s tasty, dark sense of atmosphere – not even as superficial homage. the ending, at least, was not insulting… but, still, the most satisfying moment for me was near the beginning of the typical “descent into serious horror” arc, when sam neill has to punch the “stupid ho” female character in the face a few times because she tries to go all linda blair on his ass. (useless horror-movie-bitch, gettin’ all easily hypnotised…)
… ok, so it wasn’t all bad. there. THERE. hate me now. (see caps below for all necessary reference.)